dream log

Last night I dreamed that the world had no oceans. Just a beige loam stretched from top to bottom, speckled with a few flowing rivers. What would it be like to be separated by a vast land dotted with a billion people instead of a dark ocean?

I'm glad the world is the way it is.

another first, in stream of consciousness

dearest,

It's raining in Chicago. I've grown quite fond of the city over the last few days. Today I wrote a poem, just before the rain hit, discussing the split visions of my future. The more time I spend amidst artists of New York and Chicago, the more I want to be recognized as one. I find myself now forced to make the decision of following the art- or activist-influenced route, and all of these questions come to mind: Can the artist really affect social change? Or is the artist constantly limited by the will of the audience? Is the top down approach really any more effective or is the activist similarly always limited by the will of the politician...Probably, yes and yes, but do I honestly think I can get a job at the epa with a nose stud? Shaping your future can be quite difficult when you don't know what type of material you're dealing with. We shall see what decision I come to. In the meantime, I'm leaving Chicago.

untitled

The holes in my childhood home
are covered with picture framed yarn,
a southwest chicana scene
where the dark and beautiful guadalupe
is overpowered by masculinity
and I am sitting in a coffee shop in chicago
watching the hands
of an old man inch closer to me
sinking into the all too familiar home
of disgust and paralysis
where my own anger molds holes
of a different shape than my father's

Smoky Nights

Thursday was an anniversary for John and me. I must admit, it was probably the best anniversary. He told me that he had made plans and it was all going to be a surprise for me. We first went out to a late dinner at Bella Ciao. The server sat us, said happy anniversary and brought out wine and an appetizer (John had called ahead and arranged the whole meal). After the delicious appetizer, they delivered a rose to me and then brought out the main course. We left for a short walk and went to La Dolce Vida for brandy and cigars, watching my voice get as smoky as the atmosphere.

Brooklyn, dear brooklyn

There is something special about spending time with your partner's best friend. A very unique bond is made from knowing you love the same person.


Much of the time spent in New York was filled with "Brian hugging" poses.

..And my first time karaokeing (Bohemian Rhapsody, I am very serious about this song).

I must say, the trip was fan-fucking-tastic!